In the quest to discover authenticity, I think I’ve come up empty handed. I can provide myself with similar words like sincerity and genuineness. I can rely on all those quality character terms and phrases we so often revert to, like “who am I when nobody is looking.”
But, all of that feels … forced…flat…phony.
When I look at defining authenticity, I feel like there is a pendulum swing. I go from the extreme of “this is who I really am,” to “this is who I’m not.”
What I mean is that I have seasons where I have to prove who I am.
I am smart.
I am successful.
I am worthy.
Then, I realize what I am doing and I swing to the other extreme. I start trying to show people what I’m not.
I’m not judgmental.
I’m not perfect.
And, somehow, in the process, I lose what true authenticity is. It’s just being. It’s just living. It’s just oozing who you are. It’s that place of habitually being yourself to the point you can’t help yourself.
In that place, I no longer have to justify myself by presenting either extreme. A person can look at me and see it. They can see what drives me. They can see what causes me to weep…to laugh…to feel at my depth. They can see what fuels my processing…my relationships.
They can see ME!